In the evolution of my artistic journey, I have come to understand the importance of releasing the image. The image was the tether to that part of me that needed to please. My earliest memory of me as an artist was when I was about three years old expressively drawing with color. I was lying on the floor while holding a teal green crayon, and I confidently and consciously chose to loosely scribble it over the image of the coloring book. As I joyfully worked, I was experiencing the freedom of not coloring perfectly within the lines—it was an epiphany! These thoughts were forming: "Why can't I do this? Why does it have to be within the lines? Isn't this more interesting? There are other possibilities!" Then I heard my father exclaim as he stood over me and my artistic experiment, "Ewwwww, that's terrible!" From that moment, I was errantly in search of approval by perfecting my image making which lead me on different artistic journeys. Now I am back to that place where I instinctively knew I belonged—drawing and painting intuitively. I cannot help but wonder what if I did not listen all those years ago? Where would I be now?

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I can only go forward on this journey and begin again. My Abstract Expressionist work abandons the image but gains something deeply connected to the human experience—trust. The layers, brushstrokes, edges, lines, colors, and spaces ebb and flow while I paint. I instinctively know to close my eyes and allow my brush to work on the canvas, as I trust myself to know what I am doing. My canvas and I have a dialogue. I trust myself to listen. I know exactly what colors the canvas needs and what lines need to be softened or added. Most importantly, I trust myself to know when it is finished. I often will say out loud to myself, "Do not touch this area. Leave it alone!" 

 

My only guidance to the viewer is to trust yourself and to be open to the experiences of my work. Hopefully, when looking at and interacting with my artwork, it invites interpretation, emotions, ideas, and more personal connection to yourself. 

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